Let’s be honest, making friends as an adult can be hard. When you’re in college it seems easier purely based on proximity, but as we get older the opportunities seem to be a little less obvious. Where do you find these potential new friends? How do you start a convo? If you do find them, will they like you back? Now that I’m typing this, I’m realizing that making a new friend is weirdly a lot like dating. As awkward as it can be to put yourself out there, finding your tribe can be immensely valuable in your life.
Good friends can be hard to come by, but like a great love, is worth the risk. That word “risk” tends to freak people out a little, but hang with me here. I know the concept of “the unknown” can invoke some serious anxiety, but fortunately for you, I have some tips that will help you find your girl gang in no time.
Tip 1. Set yourself up for a win
Actively go places you may meet friends with similar interests. Group workout classes are a great place to meet friends, so sign up for Pilates or Spin! Also, coffee shops, shopping, groceries stores, and if you are a mom, mommy and me classes are a good place to start.
Tip 2. Ditch the ego
Let’s start with the why of it all. Other than the obvious proximity answer, WHY does it seem to be harder to make friends as an adult? I think it has a lot to do with ego. No one wants to be the first one to say hi. My first piece of advice is ditch that mentality. You’re not too cool to say hi or be friendly.
Tip 3. Ok, just say hi.
Being the one to open a conversation or give a compliment isn’t a show of weakness, it’s a sign of confidence and strength. If you meet someone you like, strike up a conversation and don’t be afraid to exchange info, numbers, or Instagram handles, whatever you’re most comfortable with. Basically just say hi! Likely, the other person is in the same boat and will be glad you made the first move.
Tip 4. Ok, but how?
If you don’t know how to start a conversation with (at that point) a stranger, a compliment is always a good start. Everyone loves a compliment and giving one out shows a few things, first of which is that you pay attention! Life isn’t all about you, so when you notice things about someone else it shows that you know that, and are both present and observing others. The second thing it exemplifies is that you are the kind of women that is secure enough to give someone else a compliment! I can assure you, not everyone is! Be the kind of person that sees something you like and thinks “wow, I love her shoes!” or “she has amazing skin”, instead of being the kind of person that internally thinks “why don’t I have that?”. Let’s be honest, it’s not a good look.
Tip 5: Reach out
Reach out and ask your potential new friend to grab coffee or do something fun like go for a walk or get lunch. Of course you can tweak this step based on what your interests are. Once you’ve gotten to this point, you can feel it out and if it’s a friend match, you’ll know.
This is a question I get asked all the time in DM’s, so I thought it would be helpful to touch on. You may be surprised how many people feel like this, so if you’re someone looking for friends, you are definitely not alone! My main goal of writing this was to give you some tangible takeaways when it comes to finding and meeting new friends. If you want a part two with tips on being a good friend and keeping yours, let me know!