Life
07.19.17

Things No One Tells You About Being Pregnant

Let me start off by saying, I truly wouldn’t change a minute of these past few months. Growing a little human is by far the coolest thing I’ve ever done. It’s a true miracle and I feel blessed beyond measure that God has chosen me for the task. So far, I have had a great pregnancy and all joking aside, can’t complain one bit. Baby girl and I are healthy and really, that is all I could ever ask for. Having said that, of course (like anything in life) pregnancy has it’s highs and lows. The more pregnant I get, the funnier certain things become. I feel like I discover something new that no one warned me about daily. So, I started making a list – things no one tells you about being pregnant. Who’s ready?

1 / Seat belts hurt

Yup, seat belts totally suck when your pregnant. It makes sense, but I never thought about it and of course, no one ever told me.

2 / Find someone who can tie your shoes and befriend them

Bending that far over after about 27 weeks is a major no-go. Can you say uncomfortable?

3 / Walking up a flight of stairs is like running a marathon

Cardio never phased me until I got pregnant and now when I walk from the couch to the bathroom I feel like I deserve a gold metal in the olympics, or at least a cookie.

4 / You now get the pleasure of being weighed monthly

Getting weighed by a stranger while your husband watches is just about as fun as it sounds.

5 / Pee. Pee. Pee.

Now, later, tomorrow, in the middle of the night, all the time, pee. I think this is Gods funny way of preparing us to wake up multiple times a night with baby comes.

6 / It looks like you have a happy trial

Apparently the medical term is Linea Nigra…but I like to just call it a happy trail. It’s basically a dark (darker than your skin-tone) line that runs down the middle of your stomach. Fun! Good thing it’s swimsuit season!

7 / There is no such thing as sort of hungry

It’s either not hungry or move out of my way before I trample you, I need food, hungry.

8 / News flash – morning sickness isn’t just in the morning

WHY WOULD THEY NAME IT THAT?! Why not just call it “sickness”? Want to know what else makes you gag in the first trimester? Brushing your teeth. Ahhh, irony.

9 /ย  Shaving becomes a full-time job

Did I cut myself? Maybe. Did I miss a spot? Definitely. At least I can still reach my armpits.

10 /ย Your skin is no longer your skin

Hello hormones…oh and is that a zit? Haven’t had one of those since middle school. Lucky me!

11 /ย Fiber

Just eat it and thank me later or apricots, those work too.

12 / You’re suddenly cute and strangers like you

Congrats! Now that you are growing a mini human, you are officially “cute”. Oh and strangers love you! That part is definitely a perk – people open the door for you everywhere (not just men lol), stop to let you cross the street…the list goes on.